I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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