He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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