Can Purell be used as lube?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
