At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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