Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
