morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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