I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
