Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
