I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
