So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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