Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
