i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
