My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
