took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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