Can i not drive my cunt home
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
