If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
