worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize