I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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