You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
