I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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