I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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