just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
