I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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