Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
