I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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