It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was born a porn star she said
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize