This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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