Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
