I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
