Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
