Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
