After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
