we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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