He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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