it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
