his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
