my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize