I only kidnapped one of them. chill
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
