No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
