Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
