I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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