sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
