It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
