I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
