OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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