Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
