WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
why is half of my head shaved?
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