No, drunk sperm still make babies.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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