if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize