He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
