Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
