oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
