did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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