you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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