she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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