Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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