I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
