We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
